I find myself as a busy person and hardly have time to hang out with friends. I grew up fast and couldn’t afford to fool around. I’ve never actually been in love… I think I kind of trick my mind that I am but really not in love lol. My expectation has always been high and I always get disappointed, but not surprised.
As a young girl living in a Mexican household, I had to grow up fast. It wasn’t easy for me. I was placed in positions where I had to always clean the house, always make food, and make sure everyone ate before myself. I always had to dress and act like a lady. While boys got to have fun and get into trouble, they barely got yelled at. While us girls got a whole ass lecture, ugh so annoying. So I really didn’t have time to have fun and play around. I was expected to grow up fast “Donna do this” “Donna do that”. I couldn’t mess up because it showed a sign of weakness or disappointment. I guess in that way, I put my standards high and if a guy who liked me or I like them was below that standard… bye bye.
I have 3 older sisters and while they were in high school all three of them dated guys. Except me, I didn’t date in high school. Everytime, one of my sisters would come home they were either happy asf, sad, angry, then happy again. Two of my sisters got cheated on in high school, I didn’t like the idea of that and I never wanted to go through it. Plus, I had a lot of friends who would get cheated on and I knew but I didn’t say anything because it was none of my business… so yeah. Don’t get me wrong I did talk to guys but I let them know my intentions right away, that I wasn’t looking for something serious.
When I was a cheerleader I was talking to this guy named Elliot, he was the football team quarterback. So it was the perfect ideal couple, but as many times as we tried to make things work, I just didn’t want anything serious with him. Plus, I feel like I have a second person, it’s like I’m always second-guessing myself. I was just so unsure with myself all the time, and I didn’t wanna make permanent decisions on temporary emotions.
Now, I go to school full-time and work on the side. I hardly have time to hang out with friends because I’m either studying or sleeping. I’m chasing that degree and don’t have time to get distracted. But this past summer, the guy I met I don’t know… changed my whole perspective about love….
To be continued…
donncabonnaxo 